how2drop_dead101
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Member Since: 4/3/2006

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Sunday, August 20, 2006

Currently Listening
Hot Pink
By Pink Spiders
stereo speakers
see related
i love that sweet smell of nicotine that lingers on your fingers after a most wanted cigarette. and that dizzy feeling left behind after exhaling the sin you've commited.

but i hate the calm of the smoke as it wisps around your surrounding and the peaceful chirps of crickets. as i sit alone on the back deck i hope to hear the trace of thunder or atleast a flash of lightening cuz im fucking SICK of the calm and the peaceful surrounding while inside i feel as if im fighting so many god damn wars that i don't even understand why they are there.

and right now i just cry (scream) cuz im just tired of this shit.

this isn't because of my aunts horse. or the fact that i lost one of my best friends. or even the nerves of hockey try-outs. i just know its something else because my head is spinning and my bodies shaking.

in way im a mental masochist because i don't care about the shit she's called me or things that she's done. i just want my friend back.

hell. i want my FRIENDS back. i feel lost.

o so very lost.


Saturday, April 08, 2006

Currently Listening
Dying to Say This to You
By The Sounds
ego
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u know, i suddenly know what it feels like to be unwanted by family.

hell i don't know why im still here in the first place. i should've disposed of myself while i had the chance.

pathetic aren't i?


Friday, April 07, 2006

fuck suburbia

i hate my parents

i hate this house

i hate this town

i hate myself

i hate my school

i hate my god damn life.

that is all there is to it.

sux eh?


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

wow...im really unstable

Extraversion |||||||||| 40%
Stability |||||||||| 40%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 43%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 43%
Mystical |||||||||||||||| 70%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 43%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 50%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Wealth |||||||||||| 50%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Sexuality |||||||||||| 50%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical fitness |||| 17%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual

 

http://similarminds.com/global-adv.html

 

 

 

hahaha...wow.


:((

yea, tomorrow night i fly back to chicago. part of me doesn't want to come home. part of me does. gr.

i talked to my grandma about coming and living down  here for sophmore year. i wonder how my parents would react if i asked if i could live here for a year. they wouldn't be too happy i can tell you that. but its so nice here, but i would miss all my friends. crap. gr.

 

yea

 



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